If there is one thing that is highly likely to happen with an elderly parent, it is a health crisis. One of the course modules in my membership program is called “When Bodies Fail”. Being prepared seems contradictory to a crisis. However, there is ground work that can be put in place when one happens. The consequences of not having some levels of preparation can be chaos, poor and quick decisions and not enough knowledge, panic.

Recently a new caregiver told me of a fall her parent had. The parent was living independently for several years, late 80’s, good cognition and some health issues. The injuries from the fall resulted in a very long hospital stay and a couple of surgeries. Now the parent is in a rehab facility with what looks like a long recovery.

Now come some big decisions and not with a lot of time. The parent now needs to move to an assisted living residence. This is a big decision as it will probably be the last residence of the parent. There will be financial considerations as well. Appointments and tours have been scheduled. The parent will be unable to attend due to the nature of the injuries so the adult children will be making this decision. 

It is possible to be prepared for this type of scenario. Here is how to do it:

Tour assisted living residences both near where the adult children live and where the parent lives. Do it now! Don’t wait for a health crisis. If it seems premature, it isn’t. Do it now and take your parents. It’s a great way to start the conversation. Maybe they have friends who have moved?

Many of these places have long waiting lists. If you have to make a quick move due to a health crisis you may be waiting.

You may need to provide financial information that payment can be made a minimum of 3 months upon move in. This may require a conversation with your parents about a POA or how to access what is needed.

You may not get a choice of apartment or room. If you are in a rush you will have to take what is available and it may not be the best choice of place. Moving again is hard.

Taking a tour is more than just viewing. It is sitting in on a meal, an activity, meeting the staff and other residents. It’s hugely helpful to pop in after a tour and ask questions. You won’t be able to do this if you are in a rush.

I have a list of questions to ask when you go. It is in my Companion Guide for Caregivers in my webstore.  

A move like this is a big adjustment for aging people. They may be moving away from close neighbors and friends. Their world is shrinking and it can also feel like their independence is as well. They may be very needy for a while, wanting lots of visits and that is a good thing to help them adjust. 

Other considerations are the physical move, downsizing and getting rid of things they don’t need or can’t take with them. There are now some moving companies that focus on these types of moves and some will also auction off belongings. Have a conversation with siblings who may want certain items. Don’t put it all in storage, it will sit there for a long time! Now is the time to sell it or donate it.

If the move involves a relocation to another city or state, there will be more things to consider like transportation, health care, even making room for them in your home. Other family considerations like children and how to involve them, who will help with appointments, moving, setting up accounts.

This is not the sort of decision and move that should be made in a rush and under the pressure of needing something right away. Prepare now, get ready, have the talk.